Everyday Gamer

Did I mention this game was killing me? No amount of repetitive and mindless mini-games, no-frills action and horrid voice-overs will be able to resuscitate me. Wait, that’s what caused my gamer death in the first place, you know, the death that occurs when you play a game that’s borderline terrible. Developed by Codemasters, Emergency Mayhem takes players into a world of non-stop time limits, mini-games, and a fetch this, ram that, go from point A to point B before your time limit runs out. As I mentioned in my preview of this game, I had hoped it would be similar to Crazy Taxi with a twisted edge in dealing with emergencies. With Emergency Mayhem’s cartoonish graphics and lack of any vehicle realism, it very well could be. However, Emergency Mayhem is missing the key factor of what every healthy game should have, and that’s a huge dose of fun.

After choosing to do police, fire fighting or an ambulance career, you start out with a time limit and must get to missions or collect different pickups to keep your time and your “mayhem” down. Driving controls are extremely simple and you can pretty much barrel your car through anyone or ram other cars. Missions either consist of wii-remote motion mini-games (some with very annoying motions), point A to point B speed trials, and deliveries (what, I thought we were rescuing people?)

The missions get old very fast when you realize two thirds of the mini-games for your particular career in the precinct you’re playing in are the same. And by the same, I mean doing the exact same mini-game puzzle like five times. If that isn’t enough, you have the worst country accented, female voice-over squawking at you every minute and speaking to you as if you’re two years old! Hearing “Get the baddies!”, “Great job Partner!”, “You suck!” with that crackly voice made me want to pull my hair out. I had to double check and see what this game was rated; I had thought it was “E” like I mentioned in my preview but it’s rated “T”… big surprise there.

I’m usually pretty fair in my reviews and try not bash games too much as studios put a lot of time and work into them - but this game had it coming for sure. Is this game seriously by the same studio that made hilarious and fun Overlord? This game could have had plenty of potential if the following had been implemented: the ability to swing corners via e-braking and better handling to make driving fun, more interaction with the pedestrians other than plowing through them, actual cause and effect from not completing missions, and more fulfilling mini-games and side missions.
The title “Emergency Mayhem” belongs to a mission in a GTA game, not this made for Wii waste of time. The game also does nothing to help people’s thoughts that the Wii tailors only to kids or casual gamers - as this game might appeal to those under 13. Ah well, back to Super Smash Bros Brawl it is, that’ll get my gamer pulse pumping.